A Man's House

A Mans Ball is a sub legendary quest available at Subway if you do not already work there.

Requirements

 * Hat

Do not be intimidated by the quest's requirements, as they are easily obtained at 8:00.

The Manager's Decisive Decision
First, speak to the manager and he will question your ability to obtain conversations.

If you have 1000 Castle wars tokens then you can bypass this part of the quest.

You need to speak to some npcs in Lumbridge, Dalaran, Pizza Parlor, Dog City, and Afghanistan.

Lumbridge
In Lumbridge speak to these NPCS.
 * Donie

Donie will intimidate you, but do not be intimidated. She's not a world leader.

Dalaran

In Dalaran, spark up conversations with the enemy faction. You never know where a friendship might blossom, even if your farming level is too low to grow flowers.

Pizza Parlor
Here, you need to be careful. Do not be seen walking around with a Polar Bear (e) as you will be shot on sight. Also, make sure to improve your clothing or else you will be shot on sight.

Speak to Pizza, he will give you a random name of a player online and you must find them and talk to them for 6 seconds.

Slight Indignations
Now, tilt your monitor approximately 0.005 degrees north. If done correctly your monitor should evaporate into the form of Manager, who you will now fight. Remember to wear the Hat, or else his punch will instantly kill you. Weapons Reccomended: Knife, Bullet, Spear, Rock, Shoe, Lego Block (y).

Back To Normal
Now, the manager will apologize and give you 39 McDonalds restaurants to manage- but be careful- management isnt as easy at it looks! Remember to employ your customers whenever they ask for Fries.

House Construction
Buy a house from the House Man, and...

Sell it to a goblin in Varrock who will ask you, " Who do you think you are?" and you must be watching Episode 6 of Squirrel Boy at 6:59 to get the joke.

But Wait A Minute!
Now, you should have these items: 68 Silver Bar, Bent Hat, Donkey Kong Country Season 1 Directors Cut, Strap.

Use the Strap on the Bent Hat to make a Bent Stratosphere. Now, apply each silver unnoted to finish the stratosphere's trim. Now, watch the season 1 of Donkey Kong with Directors Commentary enabled. Meet the director online at http://www.donkeyrescue.org/ and rescue him from disaster. Make sure to eat the stratosphere if your life points get too low- in Wilderness Level 68, Donkeys can attack from the north. So make sure to boast about your stratosphere to improve success.

If eaten, the Stratosphere will heal for 1 hp per day, for 39 years. Time it correctly to recieve 500 HP immediately, but only on the Jewish holiday Yom Kippur.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yom_Kippur

Revolutionary Ideals.
Director Man will then ask you to hop into his teleporter, decline. Instead, throw him into Booty Bay and say "Wow". He will begin to grow into a life-size statue of Thomas Gage:

Now, quickly use your  Construction skill to reconstruct the font:  and..

Quest Complete!

Reward:

Ownership of Gnome Village for 3 weeks (remember to stack)

Newcomer Map (g)

Improved Health bar (h3)

Orb of Darkness (recolor of Iron Pickaxe)